Liquid Happiness
By Mark Curry

There are things in this world that deserve my attention. Many things come to mind, but a particularly fond one is Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. Now, to be perfectly honest, I’ve had only the diet variety every time I’ve had it except once. But still it is amazing. The God’s Elixir, as I will call it a few times from now until I die, isn’t something healthy nor does it give you any bull about how it will get you women (if it did get you women, I wouldn’t be typing an article for a website at 11:41 at night). No, Natures Perfect Tonic is far better. See, it has a personality. It is alive in your mouth with a kinetic energy matched only to 100 eight year olds on coke. Not the soda….I detest that.

Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper is a cowboy, with a gruff demeanor and those rugged good looks that win over every damsel in a ghost town. It’s the super spy, risking life and limb not only for his country, but for a chance to score with foreign chicks. It is the spirit that fills the shell of a man, the spirit that allows him daring do. It’s the superhero knocking comets away from the earth. It’s truly a swell tasting soda pop.

So you might be thinking, why is this guy going on like this about a soda? Does he have a social life? Does anyone talk to him? Does he enjoy playing with matches? What music does he like? What’s his idea for a perfect date? None of these are any of your business currently (Unless you are a single female 18-23-email me). Well I’ll give you a hint about me, I like this soda more than other sodas, and since it is like a king in my book, I figured I’d write about it.

And while I’m on the subject, I just wanted to let you all know I hope to someday fuel a time machine with Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. Now I am not sure, but I’m pretty sure Dr "Thaddeus" Pepper was in fact a mad genius whose ashes are put in ever batch of anything Dr Pepper related. His ashes should be able to eject me from the time stream. Hopefully. I just need a time machine that runs on remains of crap I just make up when I’m tired. Let’s just say, me riding a triceratops just might happen before you know. Or well, you would know.

Anyways. Happy Drinking. Of Diet or Non Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper.