What You Should Say To Someone Famous
By Mark Curry

LISTastic

This is at least what I think you should say.

“I loved you last week.”

“And to think I just thought you LOOKED pretty…but your smell? Wowsers”

“You suck, really, you can‘t do anything right and even more it‘s rubbed into the world‘s face repeatedly. Man, I would hate to be you. ”

“Oh man, they made fun of you on (insert TV show name here), that means I have lost all respect for you”

“You know, after that last album, maybe your next one should be a posthumous success”

“Your garbage is the coolest”

“Could you give me an autograph in blood?”

“Your used bubble gum tastes like how I think your kisses would”

“I’m gonna be a director someday, so show me your (insert body part) right now”

“Hey… You are such a bitch”

“I like you more in animated movies”

“You say you are all game on the court, but in fact... Well…you suck”

“Fuck the police” (Especially funny to actors who portray police)

“All my friends are gonna be jealous when they heard I got an STD from a celebrity”

“Can you list off what projects you have done so I can see if I want to talk to you any more?”

“Oh man…you used to be funny right? Oh I remember. So yeah…you are still alive…keeping busy?”

“People like me make me doubt any sort of faith”

“What does it feel like to make a lot of money knowing you will die an empty shell?”